Is my first year, this is my second week of class and everything on my body is begging me to drop out. The only reason I’m resistant is because I don’t want to be “behind” my friends. Also my mental health is shit and it will likelly decline if I stay on college (like crying everyday and suicidal level). When I like something and see importance on it I’m willing to do it, so if I drop out I know I’ll discipline myself into self-study even if is boring, currently on college I can’t help but to think how much time and money I’ll waste on required classes that have nothing to do with programing. But even so is it a bad idea to drop out? Also I have been interested in coding ever since I was little and I won’t change my mind on what I want to do, I have never considered other options
Edit: I made a list
Why go to college? :
Getting CSE job easier with degree
Takes 2.5 years to self teach 4 years of college BS CSE. (820 days, if study 5h everyday). So might as well do 1.5 + years to get degree
CSE is competitive
Won’t “fall behind” my friends
Why not go to college?:
Won’t feel like useless piece of shit learning useless unrelated material
Feel fulfilled while study
Actually give a fuck and put effort
I could care less about the first 2 years of college (aka: no motivation which equals to likelly failing classes)
I literally want to kill myself and mental health is shit
You don’t seem to be in a position where you should be making a choice at this time. If your mental health is in such terrible state, I would see a specialist on your campus as soon as possible.
It’s only been two weeks - is it the adjustment to college life or have you got other stuff going on?
Learning on your own is “okay” but you miss out on a lot of foundational knowledge that you get from being taught by someone else. Think about the “why”, not the “how”, that’s what you get from a teacher. Not to mention the connections/networking opportunities you can get at college.
I’d say you need to take a look at why you’re struggling so much and focus on fixing that rather than avoiding the problem. Naturally I’ve no idea what’s going on so this is entirely face value advice, but personally I’d recommend attacking a problem head-on rather than dancing around it.
If at all feasible, it would be ideal to lessen your stress levels without giving up.
There are two different things going on here. If you teach yourself then you’ll struggle to find work because you don’t have the degree, even if your self-taught knowledge exceeds that of your college course. So don’t drop out if you can avoid it.
But, if it’s absolutely tanking your mental health and you really can’t go on then it’s better to drop out than kill yourself over this. You can take time off and try again later.
The best case would be to reduce your stress without dropping out if that’s possible.
